As human beings, we are social creatures. (Sounds cliche, i know.) One could say we have human “needs”, such as those of friendship, love, compainionship and indeed intimacy. The question is, what is the “right” way to do things? Although it sounds like a black and white moralistic distinction, I believe there can exist some fundamental principles that must be adhered to.

• Respect, for the other person. This is the intrinsic foundation for everything. But firstly, we need to respect ourself, for if we have inner disharmony, then it will flow to others. And it’s disrespect to the other person, if we are not internally adjusted (for we could cause them harm or worry).
• Trust. If we have respect, then trust naturally follows. The two are closely related. Trust per se, is the faith we have in the other person. A more concrete example would be the “trust that they are faithfull [in the relationship].”
• Communication lets two people understand each other. No two people are the same, and both must have the faith in each other, and that trust, to be able to express their feelings, desires, emotions, etc easily and in a natural way, without feeling pressured.
• And Understanding, gained from communication (which relies upon the respect and trust one has for the other person.) It can be hard to listen, because among other things it can be hurtful. We often lack the capacity for self-evaluation. Sometimes we don’t like to face the “truth.” or we may not even “see” it… Conversely, we need to accept that people are not perfect. The other person has flaws as you do, and vice versa. Not to say that one should not try to strive to achieve “perfection.”

These should apply for any relationship. I’m not just talking about “love” relationships, etc, etc. Any social interaction with someone could be a “relationship.” That might not be a very “deep” example, but as people become more involved with each other, then relationships become more complex, and sometimes difficult. I think this ties alot in with expectations that each person has for that relationship, and when a person worries too much about what they think is expected of them, it tends to have adverse results (I know this from experience). I suppose it’s partly because we have our insecurities. Hopefully, we can focus more upon the other person, and through understanding have a healthier relationship.

Not every relationship is equal. For example, the relationship between parent and child. The feelings felt by both parties and going to be quite different. The parent feels concern for the needs of the child. The child is not so concerned with needs of the parent, but rather of it’s own (I was and indeed still am a selfish child).

However, a “love” relationship should be “equal”. That is, the trust and respect should be mutual between both parties. Similarly, the feelings between them need to be of the same level. For when there is an inbalance, problems follow.

Hope this is understandable! Thanks for reading this far! =)

This entry was posted on Tuesday, April 4th, 2006 at 7:10 pm and is filed under Needs a home. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.