Well I’m finally back again. I now have a job. Granted, it doesn’t pay very well, the hours are long, there aren’t really any breaks to speak of… but at least I have a job (and free coffee and quite nice food!). If you ever happen across Stuzzi (on High Street, Northcote) feel free to say “Hi” to the resident dish pig.

Latest fashion transgressions

After being in a western cultural vacuum for over 9 months (well okay there was Westlife, Backstreet Boys and Linkin Park — but they’re not what one would call culturally significant), I again find that many people (and unfortunately now my little sister) have no clue.

• Fluro! (My little sister has succumbed to this “retro” style… And I thought we left behind the fluro and lycra for good?)
• Emo (Anyone seen that Sprite billboard: “If emos are non-conformist, Why do they all look the same?” — it’s sheer brilliance)

And amusingly enough, the thick rimmed glasses are still around (I also recently found a pair in my nanna’s garage of funk, but promptly misplaced them somewhere). Personally I think only the Blues Brothers should be allowed to wear them. I was thankfully wrong about the shoulder pads.

My new toy

After about two months of consideration and two weeks hard work, I now have a white/pearl Asus EeePC 4G. :-)

I can say with pride (and a hint of smugness) that due to my foresight (ie: use a flexible style), this site works quite well on the 800×480 screen.

If you’re interested in one, check out EeeUser.com, as it’s more informative than the Asus page.

So. You’re traveling and decided to do it on the cheap, and head to a Youth Hostel. It’s actually okay: hot showers, clean beds and (sometimes) warmed/cooled rooms. All for 15 yuan (insert alternate currency here) a night for a dorm room.

But then… you get… a SNORER! Not a light one, but one who sounds like strangulation times one-thousand (that’s Strangulation 1000^tm).

The resulting situation is tragically predictable (kind of like how it’s not a good idea to keep people in a building after a plane has flown into it, if you’ll excuse this crass reference). Unless you’re Chinese, and then you’re lucky enough to have the ability to sleep anywhere, any time, and in any auditory situation (damn, I envy them in this regard).

The moral of the story is: if you snore, please, please, please, please sleep in your own room (or give out free earplugs or at least hugs and/or apologies). It’s for the greater good of all the others in the room who would otherwise have no sleep and be cranky like yours truly is this morning. Thank you. :-)

Well, it’s been a while since you’ve seen anything from lumaki.com. :-/

This is due to the Homingnetwork.com (really only one guy running the show, apparently) becoming unfortunately bankrupt (after a few years of no apparent problems). Their hosting provider revoked their services, and thus all of Homingnetwork’s customers lost their stuff. And, alas, being overseas makes it harder to administrate a web site (not to mention resurrect one), when the only tools you have is an internet connection and a USB memory stick (and some not-so-good backups — shame on me)…

Anyhow, things are up again (at least partially)… Photos will be back soon, but Flickr is blocked in China, which makes things difficult for me (because I’m still here) and Chinese viewers. :-/

Well, after having a bit of spare time, and a decent computer in front of me, I got around to releasing a new version of this old friend. :-)

For the uninitiated, C-Dogs is an arcade/action shoot-em-up, supporting solo, cooperative and death-match play. Originally for coded for real-mode DOS by Ronny Wester, Jeremy Chin and I ported it to SDL in 2003, and these days I maintain it.

Most visible is the faster scaler, and multiple resolution support. Previously C-Dogs SDL could only run at 320×200, and could be scaled up with a significant performance hit. Now we can scale 2x, 3x and 4x and support resolutions of up to 800×600 (before scaling is applied).

There is now a windows binary, as I sat down and got it compiling and running using Visual C++ Express (which I found to be a very capable IDE).

Interested? Head to the download page. There are Linux and Windows binaries, and older ones for DOS and Mac OS X, as well as links to ports to other platforms (DS, GP2X, Amiga, etc). And of course the source is there, too!

PS: If you’re a Mac developer, and feel generous, feel free to create and send me an OS X package and disk image.

UPDATE: Oops! The version of C-Dogs is 0.4!

Well this is the last week of teaching in Sheyang High School, so I thought I’d try and give a good overview of my experiences of the past four months in this place.

Sheyang itself

Sheyang is a small town (well technically Hede in Sheyang County) of around 100,000 people, an hour from Yancheng City, Jiangsu Province. Shanghai is 5 hours away, by often cramped and smoke filled bus (you can smoke almost anywhere in China). It’s not particularly famous, although a former general and national defence minister grew up in Sheyang.

Like most Chinese towns, you’ll probably see plenty of weathered concrete apartment blocks, or white-tiled structures, which do make for a most depressing sight were it not for the presence of some greenery. The local roads are haphazard in terms of repair, a stark contrast to the well maintained national highway system. There aren’t many cars around (they’re very expensive), and most are small taxis. More prevalent are bicycles, scooters, motorbikes, mopeds and rickshaws. There is small river which runs through the town, and it’s quite common to see low barges meandering their way along it.

The place has very few foreigners (who are apparently all Conversational English teachers), perhaps 8 in total, and I never actually saw any around. As a result, staying in Sheyang has introduced Joe, Eliet, Heather and myself to the phenomena of being minor celebrities. This is double edged sword, as we gained free lifetime entry into the only Disco in Sheyang (more on this later), but at the same time endured the now stale mutterings, comments and exclamations of “Lao Wai” and “Wai Guo Ren”.

There isn’t actually much to do in Sheyang, besides eat. On that note, there is a pretty good selection of restaurants, so long as you wish to eat various types of Chinese food. Feeling game, we sampled so called Western-style “Berfsteak” [sic] and “TF Coffee” — both overpriced and major let downs. I never tried the local KFC (they always seem to be next door to “TIMES” supermarkets). Actually, a word of advice: avoid “Western” food in China. It’s just not the same, and definitely not worth the expense.

Table manners are much simpler than in the West. It’s polite to fill someone’s drink before your own. Never remove the main dishes from the centre of the table — move your bowl to them. Remember to match people’s toasts (ie: if they go bottoms up [”gambei”] you must as well). And lastly, never point your chopsticks at anyone, or stick them vertically into rice. Aside from that, it’s no holds barred. You can make a mess, leave your bones and scraps on the table, and it’s not a problem. There is no obligation to eat what is in front of you. You can eat dishes in any order (although here in Sheyang, people usually eat rice last). You only have to worry about Chopsticks, as they are your only utensils.

Food aside, there is a local Disco, which had a bouncy floor and the usual terrible techno, and it was good fun after a few drinks and with a few fellow friends. The drinks are essential as you need the confidence to get the party started! (There seems to be a propensity to do outrageous things like this when you’re away from home for extended periods…) Surprisingly, the local supermarket (”TIMES”) offered some interesting things, including the famous snack food “Wang Wang” (Joe and I dedicated a short film to it) and really cheap alcohol, especially the infamous “Baijiu” (White rice wine).

A word on Chinese drinking culture: Alcohol generally is only drunk with meals. Beer is usually to be had at dinner, but I’ve seen people drinking it at breakfast! “Baijiu” is generally reserved for more formal occasions, though depending on who you know, any excuse will do! Women generally tend to avoid the drink, or only in small quantities. This does not apply for men, and the universal competitive spirit exists among guys (”man points”) in relation to drinking prowess! Although there is no legal drinking age, most people under 18 don’t drink (it seems the Chinese start having a life once they reach university).

Sheyang High School

School here is not fun for the students, by any stretch of the imagination. Classes of 60. Cramped classrooms. A school day starting at 6am and finishing at 10pm (with only a 2 hour break at midday). A 6 day school week (sometimes even 7!). Mountains of homework. School consumes their lives — there is little time for much else. Many of my students used to do extra curricular activities when they were younger, but these were dropped due to sheer necessity. It’s very, very sad.

The reason for this madness: gaining entrance into University. Competition is extremely fierce, more so outside the major cities.

The school’s built environment is also pretty depressing — white tiled concrete buildings. They do, however, make for some interesting urban exploration. What is bizarre, considering the lack of space in classrooms (and absence of lockers for school books), is how many rooms are under-utilised or just not used at all. The school library is an eerie place indeed, and a testament to the fact that the students pretty much only read their textbooks. I never actually saw any library books inside — only dusty taxidermy exhibits and a room full of awards and medals. The school has a proper domed telescope, but again, it seems to be never used. Heck, the school even has a gym and an oval (with a running track), but they’re not used much either. It’s actually a real shame.

It’s not all gloomy however. There are two places of interest on the school grounds: the basketball and table-tennis courts, and the so-called “teacher’s garden.” The former attests to the popularity of these two sports, and the garden is actually very pleasant (Joe and I held our English corners there). I personally have little interest in basketball, but many students have asked me about various NBA players and teams — it really shows the paradox of China’s relationship with the United States. The culture is quite popular (this extends to pop music, clothing, and food, too), even though most people express a dislike towards the US.

Chinese students are immature relative to their Western counterparts, work ethic being the major exception! At the subtlest hint of kissing (or even a mild romantic moment) in a film (even an animated one), many looked away or appeared embarrassed. This is more pronounced with girls. That said, my students were always curious about whether or not I had a girlfriend, and had no qualms about expressing their views of my sister (many cries of “so beautiful!”), and jokes involving love or marriage got an easy laugh. They don’t receive any form of sex education whatsoever, and again I think that their social world (relationships, sex, etc) really unfolds once they leave high school.

That said, I am speaking in generalisations. The female students are generally very shy, but there are notable exceptions. For example, one asked me whether I thought pre-marital sex was okay, much to my surprise! Another regularly turned up outside Joe’s or my apartment door, invited herself in, and proceeded to demand things, much to our chagrin. I relished in small acts of revenge against this recalcitrant (she was not a student of either Joe or I).

Memorable Quotes

Many students left me some rather amusing messages, so here are some golden ones:

• “I love you, but I’m just a boy.”
• “A good dream every night!”
• “I want to kill you, because you will go!”